Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
