May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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