We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
