Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
