I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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