My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
