So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
