Pants 0. Shit 1.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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