would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
