So drunk its hurt
Small penises have feelings too.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
