im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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