Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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