tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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