paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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