He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
