Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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