Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
