Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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