Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
