I just cut my nipple shaving
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
