It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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