Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
this hospital has no fireball
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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