Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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