You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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