I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
