so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
