New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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