Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Alive.
So much puke
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
