he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
