I looked at my own cervix.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
