honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
