Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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