I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
