I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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