i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
