You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He better not be in your backpack
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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