I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
worst night to have a conscience
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
