you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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