I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
