Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
