wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
