wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
