i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
