Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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