you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
