Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
