Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
