Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Randomize
