I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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