Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
