is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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