why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
