You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
