So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
