plz talk dirty to me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
